DownSyn Forum - Feeling like a bad mommy

Would you like to
help support this site?

DownSyn Forum > General > Feeling like a bad mommy

Email This Page to a Friend!     Show a Printable Version < Last Thread Next Thread >

Author

Topic: Feeling like a bad mommy

03-23-2006 12:29 PM



Grady's Mommy
Senior Member

Location: Ohio
Registered: Jul 2004
Posts: 813
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Guys, I need a pick me up. I feel like I'm letting Grady down. I am just not consistent with teaching him sign. The only sign he knows is MORE and he doesn't always use that. I feel terrible because I know he could be communicating with me much more if I were to get on the ball with signing. I have Love and Learning and Signingtime, but I just never play them. Mostly because he's not interested. He just doesn't watch them.

I think I'm naive about it. I've heard nothing but positive things about his speech and how on target he was when we started speech therapy. I think I just let it go thinking "oh, he may not need sign, I'll just work on actual words with him". Now that it's been some time since starting ST, I know he's falling behind. He babbles so well and repeats so many things. And I know he "understands" me. I ask him if he's hungry and he immediately turns to me and says "yeah". He initiates hand games etc. There's so much he does do. But I just know if I would be more cosistent with showing him signs, he could do more. Like tell me when he's thirsty or tired or hungry without me asking him or or just offering things to him to see whether he'll take it.

So, I'm just having a boohoo moment. I know I just need to get my butt in gear and do this for him.
__________________
~Kathy
Grady (DS 5/26/04)
Baby #2 due 9/23/06

03-23-2006 01:22 PM



mary c
Senior Member

Location: Westchester County, New York
Registered: Jan 2005
Posts: 689
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Kathy, somebody told me that when you become a mom you get on the guilt train. I feel guilt every day with everyone of my kids, but objectively I think I'm doing a pretty good (not perfect by any stretch of the imagination) job with them. I'm sure you are doing a great job with Grady but aren't giving yourself enough credit.

If you can watch the signing times video yourself and pick up a few signs, you can introduce them to him without him having to watch. It's the repetition not the video that works in teaching kids anything. We found that the more signs Anna learned, the more we were happy to have her show off ("Tell Grandma thank you") which got her more postitive attention and increased her own desire to sign more. It becomes a game and is more fun both for him and you (and the more fun it is, the easier to do).

Hope you fell better about this soon, and cut yourself some slack.
__________________
Mary
Mom to Libby 6/92, Alex 9/93, Anna (DS)12/12/03

03-23-2006 02:49 PM



Stephanie
Super Member

Location: Yardley, PA
Registered: Feb 2004
Posts: 2612
Last visit: 03-23-2006

Oh Kathy--don't fret...signing is learning a whole other language...it is tough work!

Megan has about 50 or so signs...but it stops there because we just don't learn any new one's enough (we have even fallen off the wagon a bit since her language skills have picked up)....and like Leah says, if you don't learn to sign in complete sentences, you are not really helping them communicate effectively.

If you talk to him daily and do repetivite books or songs, you are helping him with his 1st language and really in the long run, that is all we want for our kids...to speak English! Signing is an added benefit if you go for it!
__________________
Proud Parents Stephanie and Joe
Awesome Big Brother Joey 3/8/97
Beautiful Daughter Megan 11/8/03
Precious Lil' Livi 7/6/05

03-23-2006 03:33 PM



sarah'smom
Super Member

Location: Massachusetts
Registered: Mar 2004
Posts: 1071
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Kathy,

I think we all feel guilty regarding raising our kids in some respect. I could say the same for Sarah. We used a few initial signs, but now that she has a few words/phrases, I feel myself slacking off. And then I worry about spending too much focus on her, and slighting Stephen. Just pat yourself on the back and reming yourself of how much you really love him, and how well you and he ARE doing.
__________________
Lisa,
mom to Stephen(6/4/00)
Sarah(DS 5/17/03)
and baby #3 due (7/6/06)

03-23-2006 03:35 PM



McKenna
Senior Member

Location: San Antonio, Texas
Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 177
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Kathy,
I'm hoping my brag about Darah learning 2 new signs didn't discourage you!! Just this morning, I was getting a little frustrated because I know Darah doesn't understand what she's signing. It's kind of just an opportunity for us to show off her tricks when we're around friends and family. She will only sign her very few signs when prompted by the correct trigger word...and even then, the sign "eat" sometimes evolves into "blowing kisses!!"

Just KNOW that you are not a bad mommy! Grady is such a smart boy and he is going to learn to communicate. There are things that all of us feel that we're missing the mark on. This group is so great...when we need our pick-me-ups, they arrive in seconds!!! You are the best Mommy Grady could have. You know him better than ANYONE and you communicate with him better than ANYONE can!! When he looks at you, all he thinks about is how his mommy rocks and he knows that no one on this earth loves him more than you do!!
__________________
~McKenna~
Mom to Darah Faith (8-11-04)
Darah's Website

03-23-2006 04:15 PM



ValerieM
Senior Member

Location: Moravia, Iowa
Registered: Aug 2005
Posts: 665
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Hey, just wanted to share this with you. We first got Signing Times for Nicholas last summer, so he was just over 2 yrs. When I first started playing it, he didn't sit and watch it. It was kind of in the background. He might look for a few seconds and then go back to playing. But I just kept sticking it in, and after a week or two he was sitting through the whole thing and starting to use the signs. Maybe try that?
__________________
Valerie, mom to Derek, 16, and Nicholas (DS), 2 1/2

03-23-2006 07:55 PM



southernbelle
Super Moderator

Location: Gray, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2004
Posts: 4264
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Austin Hates signing and he loves the Signing Time video. Watches it several times a day and just dances to the music. Sometimes he'll sign with it....BUT... If I try to 'make him sign' he yells at me and pouts. He thinks signing is a game he doesn't want to play. For the first time in months...he signed milk. We all fell over. But then, he doesn't do it again. Sometimes he'll TALK. The other day he said a complete sentence. I haven't heard anything but babbling for the last 3 days. And we listen to the tapes and play the videos for Love and learning. All children do things and learn things when they want to. Mommy guilt is useless and it will paralyze you. don't let it. You're a good Mommy. Youre the Best Mommy that Grady Has!!! The fact that you are concerned about his language skills is evidence of your love for your child. AMY
__________________
"You are an unrepeatable Miracle. No one exactly like you was ever born or ever will be."
Momma to Austin(DS) 05/18/04
Kristin, Jessica, Rebecca, Rachel, Sarah,Hunter
www.caringbridge.org/ga/austinluke
www.xanga.com/fireflysouth
I LOVE my friends at downsyn.com! Here's a kiss.

03-23-2006 08:50 PM



Deborah
Senior Member

Location: Asheville, NC
Registered: Nov 2002
Posts: 373
Last visit: 03-23-2006

Wow,,, glad its not just me...emily always goes for what she wants..or i kinda know.,,i guess its never to late to order these videos.. shes 3...if (u know..ONLY IF I HAD)
started these earlier

i just been swarmmed with being a single momma with no freiends or family here

i got my taxes

i think i will try the signing times
amybe the love & learning too

ty for the post to open my eyes

i hope you too can figure out a routine for Grady... hes very cute..
ps ever been to Kings Island?
__________________

Deborah, momma to Emily Grace 3/22/03. The love of my life!~~~God grant me the Serenity~~~

03-24-2006 01:23 PM



naomid
Super Member

Location: California
Registered: Apr 2003
Posts: 2809
Last visit: 03-24-2006

You are not a bad mommy!

We have Love & learning and harly ever play it because Callum is not interested. He will watch Signing Times every now and again but he wathes for enjoyment and doesn't really mimic the signs.

Callum only signs about 20 things and usually there's a verbalizations that goes along wth it so we're concentrating on the talking rather than the signing.

Pick a few signs that you think would be useful and just incorporate them into your everyday life. Choose signs for things that Grady is interested in and see what happens.
__________________
Naomi
Mum to Callum (DS) 3/03 and Kieran 8/04 Read all about us

03-24-2006 01:33 PM



Mashpotato_69
Senior Member

Location: Birchington, Thanet, Kent, England, UK
Registered: Aug 2005
Posts: 136
Last visit: 03-24-2006

I know when we started signing with Saul, at about 18 months he didn't seem to be picking them up. I became very inconsistant and just gave up trying to show him.

Then when he reached 2 i thought i'd try again, and it appeared to be the right time as he picked them up after seeing them just once. As he seemed to be understanding we've had a few sessions of speech therapy, to learn them there also. In the last 8 months he has learn't over 100 signs, and even now says Mum, Dad, Carl (my bro), Mo (his cat), bye. His speech therapist said 'he was the most signing advanced child with Downs she'd seen for his age group'

Maybe if you just show him every now and again he'll one day surprise you with what he picks up.
__________________

All times are ET (US)

Forum Jump:
< Last Thread Next Thread >



Forum Rules:
Who Can Read The Forum? Any registered user or guest.
Who Can Post New Topics? Any registered user.
Who Can Post Replies? Any registered user.
Changes: Messages can be edited by their author if registered.
Posts: HTML code is OFF. Smilies are ON. BB code is ON. [IMG] code is ON.

Admin Options:
Open / Close Thread
Move Thread
Delete Thread
Edit Thread