DownSyn Forum

MomOfBoys · Posted: August 04 2008, 5:00 PM Post subject: "It's almost like he's normal...."

Last night we were celebrating my mil's 70 something birthday. She asked about what Noah can do and I gushed about all of his accomplishments. "That's great", she exclaimed. "It's almost like he's normal!" *SIGH* Needless to say, I found myself bawling in the garage.

_________________

Lisa, blessed to be a Mom to Benjamin 4-19-04, Zachary 5-18-05 and Noah 1-12-08 {DS and VSD repair 5-2-08}

Vinnie's Mom · Posted: August 04 2008, 5:14 PM Post subject:

OH MY F'ing GOSH! I am so sorry! MIL stink sometimes!

_________________
Joanne, wife to Jayson, mom to Rudy (12/27/05) and Vinnie (2/6/08 Ds)

Annieo · Posted: August 04 2008, 5:17 PM Post subject:

That stinks! Keep in mind that she's of a completely different generation. People her age used different terminology (words I won't type here) and sent kids to institutions. She probably expected something very different. But it would be nice if people would think before they speak.

_________________

Ann, married to Tim, mom to Sally, Mark, Jane, John (12/02, DS), Paul, and Alice
www.caringbridge.org/visit/johnbremer

Renee Lacey's mom · Posted: August 04 2008, 5:25 PM Post subject:

Some people just don't get it!!! You have to overlook it and just try not to let it get the best of you~~

_________________
Renee~~ mom to Haley 10,Kassidy 8, & Lacey(DS) 4 & wife to Chris!!

* An extra little Chromosome thats all it is, you see. Where all of you were born with 2, my angel was blessed with 3.*

sevenfries · Posted: August 04 2008, 7:32 PM Post subject:

That stinks Sad

Some people just don't understand......but we do! *hugs*

_________________
Kim(42)Wife to Matt(42); Mom to Abby(16), Caroline(12), Mattie(DS) (5)

elizasmom · Posted: August 04 2008, 7:46 PM Post subject:

When Eliza was about 3 months my MIL said the exact same thing! She thought she was giving a compliment! It stung at the time, but now i wish i said to her "And it's almost like you're normal too!"

_________________
Liz - Mom to Walker (3/24/02), Eliza (Ds) (5/6/05), Alden Jane and Noah Henry (5/2/08 )

Me-Shell · Posted: August 04 2008, 7:56 PM Post subject:

So sorry sweetie. Big Hugs...

_________________

Michelle, Fiance to Wyatt, Mom to Shane (22), Aubrey (19) and Baby Cameron DS (02/06/08 )

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Blondieinva2 · Posted: August 04 2008, 8:11 PM Post subject:

{{BIG HUGS}} Some people need a sock in the mouth!

_________________
Megan
Mom to Audrey (01/05/06) and Stella (April Fool's Day 2008, Ds)

QuinnsMom · Posted: August 04 2008, 10:13 PM Post subject:

That is horrible. I am so sorry you had to experience that - my mil can be something too sometimes.

_________________
Karyn, Quinn's Mom -
Mother of Riley (age eleven), Aidan (age seven) and Quinn (October, 2007 - DS, IS, Stereotypical Movement Disorder)
http://quinnscrusaders.blogspot.com/

mommy to Zoe Cecilia · Posted: August 04 2008, 11:29 PM Post subject:

That's awful, I'm sorry... some people just don't understand what is rude and ignorant...

_________________
~Zoe

DH ~ Jeremy married 3yrs together 9
DD ~ Zoe Cecilia ~ 2-4-08(DS)

ME's mom · Posted: August 05 2008, 6:40 AM Post subject:

I had that happen recently with MaryEllen. Only it was an aquaintance who said it. A friend of mine had a quick response that I should have given, had I been quick on my feet. She said I should have said, "Oh thank you. And I was going to say you almost looked nice, until you opened your mouth!" Shocked

I will be storing that one away for another time. Hopefully, I will never have to say it. Although, I don't know if I could. I LOVED Liz's response too. That one did come to mind for me, but again, I could not get the words out of my mind. I like to see it as I have manners, and she did not! Sorry you got hurt. Your mil is in for a lot of lessons!! Love, Di

ChoseSophie · Posted: August 05 2008, 1:51 PM Post subject: "It's almost like he's normal...."

ooh, so sorry. I'd be bawling in the garage too. Sheesh.
Love Liz's response! Hope you're feeling better.
---Jen

_________________
Momologist and mother to Alexander (1/14/05), and Sophia (7/2/07, DS) and Helena (5/16/09), Wife to Mark
www.ReJenerationS.blogspot.com
Sophie's Story is at: http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=41b7eb3cfdf9a7cafb67a6&skin_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=email

For this child we prayed "And the child grew and became strong; [she] was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was upon [her]." Luke 2:40

Amy · Posted: August 05 2008, 3:06 PM Post subject:

My mom is 74 and says stuff like this all the time. I know it stings..but she was excited about her grandson's accomplishments and surprised! She didn't know what to say ...and what she meant to say was... "THat's wonderful, I'm so proud of him and you too!!"

My mom says .. all the time... "Austin is smart.. He's NO dummy." And I just wish she'd not say ANYTHING.

{{{HUGS}}}

_________________
Keep the Faith, Amy
Mom to Kristin (26) Jessica (24) Rebecca (21) Rachel (16) Sarah (14) Hunter (11) & Austin (7) DS

Tom · Posted: August 05 2008, 3:44 PM Post subject:

I'm sure she meant it to be a nice thing. The correct response is, "He is normal."

_________________
Tom

Dad to Beth ( 20 ) and Mikey (15 - Ds and PDD-NOS)
My Blog - Random Thinking
Find me on Facebook
Find me on Twitter as tgpaul

PJ's Mommy · Posted: August 06 2008, 7:22 PM Post subject:

She probably meant "typical" which is another word for normal, in some uses, yes? Hey, a woman in her 70's, I'm sure she did not mean to be hurtful. Slip of the tongue. And your little man is SOOOOO CUTE.

_________________
Kathy, wife of Daniel since 2001, and mother of Danyse 4/85, Rebecca 9/96, and PJ (DS) 9/12/07
(seems I have a baby every 11 years)

www.katvirgo.blogspot.com
www.facebook.com/katvirgo

Ibby · Posted: August 06 2008, 11:47 PM Post subject:

I guess for someone of her generation, that was not too terrible of a comment....but it sure does hurt more when it comes from a loved one!! I think I might have come back with, "Yes, and that was almost like having something nice to say!!"

Sorry you were hurt!

_________________
Ibby
Wife to Tim- 22 years. Mother to Maggie,21; Bridget,19; Kevin,17; Sean,15; Daniel,12; Catherine,11; Robert,8; Emily,7; Maria,5; Hope, 4, AJ (Ds) June 14, 2006

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=26012b09b29bd00fe629cb&skin_id=0&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

austinsmommy · Posted: August 07 2008, 4:56 PM Post subject:

Oh my gosh. Unfortunately, it shows how ignorant some people can be. I don't know what to say because it would have hurt me just as much. Keep your head up because we know how special our children are Smile

_________________

Alyson - Wife to Jack and mom to Austin 4/5/08
"Angels are made of 47 pieces."

vonda · Posted: August 07 2008, 5:24 PM Post subject:

Reading this, now that my Noah is 9, I can only see that she is saying it as a compliment, meaning he is doing so well that it's hard to believe he actually has Ds. However, if someone would have said that to me when my Noah was a baby I would have been in the garage also. We toughen up with time, but at first you dissect every single word that people say to you, so much more than you ever did. That's normal, and it's okay to cry, that's part of healing and moving on in this journey. AND the next time someone says something like that you won't hurt as much cause you'll be more prepared. You'll just roll your eyes and know that we here on this board are rolling our eyes with you!!!! Razz

Promise.

_________________
Vonda, mommy to Peyton, Sophie, Noah(Ds) and Halle

mom2Anthony&8girls · Posted: August 08 2008, 4:52 PM Post subject:

Quote:

I'm sure she meant it to be a nice thing. The correct response is, "He is normal."

We got lots of that, especially since Anthony didn't look like he had Ds when he was little. It never bothered me, as I just took it as a celebration on my son accomplishments, as I do see my son as "Normal, just born with Ds". Funny how certain words will hurt each one of us differently. (((HUGS)))

_________________
Helen ~ Wife of 25 yrs. to Don
Proud mom of Kiersten~22, Alexandria~19 Katrina~18, Ashley~15, Virginia~13, Corrin~11, Vanessa~10, Anthony~8 yrs. blessed with an extra chromosome, Rachel~4 yrs.

See my interview & pic of Anthony when he was 3 yrs. at www.guildschool.org

6pacmom · Posted: August 10 2008, 10:58 PM Post subject:

My MIL is a bonehead too. I have a hard time when people automatically assume DS means mentally retarded. It doesn't make it easier though when they are related to you. Tell me, what is normal? I have 3 out of 6 with ADHD, & one with OCD. I think we would all be more normal if we could see through the eyes of our DS children.

jaybirdnwa · Posted: August 18 2008, 4:00 PM Post subject:

I think this just shows that people just don't understand Ds much less how to respond.

_________________
Jay
Husband to Joy & father to 4 boys/1 girl (ages 6-13)
our youngest is John ('08-Ds)
Blog:http://jaybirdnwa.blogspot.com
Email: jmhilljr@cox.net