DownSyn Forum

JesKee · Posted: April 29 2012, 10:35 PM Post subject: is Age A Big DEAL

I Hope this doesnt sound silly but, How Come Older Moms With Ds Kids Dont really Like to Be Bothered with younger moms with DS Kids? Its Like Were Going Through The Same thing!

lespring · Posted: April 29 2012, 10:46 PM Post subject:

Do you mean "older" as in the age of the mom or "older" as in they have older kids with DS?

Just like I don't like to stereotype people with DS (the whole "they're so sweet! They're so gentle!" crap) So true is it the same of us "older" moms! Don't lump us all together. Wink

For the parent of an older child (teen or adult) with DS: We're not really going through all the same stuff. We DID go through the same stuff...years ago. Some parents MOVE ON and don't care to discuss potty training anymore, or teething. Medical care has changed A LOT and much of how my child was treated medically 16 years ago really isn't applicable anymore. Its for this same reason I don't attend an in-person parent support group anymore. Gone are the days of potty training, teaching my child to walk, etc. (ok, well we're back to all of this now that we've adopted Asher, but I'm trying to make a point. LOL)We've moved on. We're into high school, proms, boyfriends and SEX. Some of the stories we have to tell would scare the crap out of you.

And sometimes...sometimes as the "older parent" (as in, I'm old enough to be your mother) I post stuff and all I hear is my mother talking and so I delete it. LOL Sometimes I don't delete when I really should.

_________________
~Leah~

My mom's blog
http://gardenofeagan.blogspot.com/

And don't forget to visit MINE!
http://itsmylifemom.blogspot.com/

mom to Rob 27, Noah 26, Tyler 24, Bryon 24, Angela 17 (DS), Axel 12 (DS, adopted from Serbia 12/2012, AAI w/fusion) Asher 8 (DS adopted from Serbia 12/2011, AAI non-fusion), Abel (DS adopted from Serbia 4/2013)

JesKee · Posted: April 29 2012, 10:58 PM Post subject:

i should of been more specific there are some moms i meet that are older than me like 30s-40s with kids the same age as mine n it just seems they dont want to be bother an treat me as if i dont understand cause im not there age

TheBradyBunch · Posted: April 29 2012, 11:48 PM Post subject:

well...I have a been a young mom, and now I'm gonna be 30 this december, so I guess I'm in the 30-40 range now.

I can tell you for me, I don't care what age people are if I have something in common with them. It doesn't matter to me if I enjoy their conversation.

Generally speaking though, I have nothing in common with teenagers or women in their early 20's. I have 6 kids, I don't care what drama went on at the nightclub last night. There are plenty of women my age I don't have anything in common with too.

It's hard to make real friends. Priorities are different. I have 3 people I consider friends (not including people online that I have developed a relationship with). One is my cousin (28 ), one is my best friend (29) whom I've known for 9 years, and one is a woman from work (40)...we just have a lot in common. In high school I had plenty of friends, of course they weren't REAL friends...my definition has changes quite a bit as I've grown up.

_________________
Mom to: Nicholas (May/02), Nathan (April/04), Charlene (June/06), Noah (DS, ASD) (May/07), Jesse Lynn (July/08 ), Tessa (Apr/10), Kaitlyn (Jun/12)

"Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us"

mary c · Posted: April 30 2012, 8:18 AM Post subject:

I am one of those older moms--43 when Anna was born and I don't have any issues with the young moms. I will say though that I was a lot more tired with a baby at 43 than I was with a baby at 32. Also I had older kids so I wasn't as involved with the whole baby thing like Mommy and Me classes, story hour at the library etc as I was just trying to keep the family afloat while running all over with the older kids.

_________________
Mary
Mom to Libby 6/92, Alex 9/93, Anna (DS)12/12/03

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Ragans Mama · Posted: April 30 2012, 11:00 AM Post subject:

Okay...I will be a little out there. As a 44 year old, younger moms remind me how old I am. It is not that I don't want to be bothered but all of a sudden I am self aware of my age. It makes me thing about his future at times because I won't be around as long. I lament that I am not a younger mom with more energy for my little boy.

_________________
New Mommy - Ragan is my one and only.....
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JesKee · Posted: April 30 2012, 11:00 AM Post subject:

Okay thank yous , i was just wondering cause as i said before some moms act as if its a big deal

seansmom · Posted: April 30 2012, 12:07 PM Post subject:

Lol. I get that Ragan's Mom! I'm 45 and I really wish I had more energy. Now I just want a nap.

I don't mind hanging with younger moms. A few of my friends are 10 years younger than me. I do notice a difference in life experiences though and things they get riled about are things I have now moved on from. They think I'm archaic in my thinking sometimes and I just laugh and say " just wait, you'll get there". I feel like a big sister sometimes. When I spend time with my friends my age I feel more relaxed because we are on the same page when it comes to where we are in our lives. So I guess I have different friends of all stages and it depends on what is going on as to who I'm hanging out with. I think you can learn something from everyone though.

_________________

Kellie Mom to Sean 10 yrs with DS and Carly 14 yrs

mellysmom · Posted: April 30 2012, 8:23 PM Post subject:

Awww, I'm so sorry you get treated that way. I've been on both sides of the friendship age fence. Smile

When I was a young Mom, most of my friends were in their thirties and forties. When I moved to RI one of my dearest friends was fourteen years older than me. As I got older and had a few more children, I had quite a few younger friends. I used to laugh when one of my younger friends referred to me as her "older" friend. LOL

You are right. Most of us make friends with others because of similar interests or having children the same age. The Ages of the Moms shouldn't matter.

Michelle

Tigger · Posted: April 30 2012, 11:27 PM Post subject:

I am old, well at least, I feel quite old a lot of the time. I had Talitha just before I turned 44. I have friends with kids with DS who are half my age (the friends that is). For me, age hasn't really had anything to do with relationships with other mums. In fact, if I was only hanging around with Mum's my age with 6 year old kids with DS I would be sitting all on my own around here. Locally most of the 'kids' with DS are at least teenagers, some in their 30's and 40's. In Canberra which is the closest city to me there are lots of mum's with kids with DS. I think all of them are much younger than me but our kids are in the same age group so we get on quite well.

Sounds to me like you have come across some people who weren't so good at relating or something but please don't judge all of us oldies by that.

Very Happy

_________________
Karyn
Mum to Nikki (Jul 89), Stefanie (Sep 96), Joel [June 98] and Talitha (DS) (Nov 05) AVSD/PDA repaired 23 March 06

"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." Psalm 139:14

Me-Shell · Posted: May 02 2012, 11:12 AM Post subject:

I am an older mom (43) and I don't mind hanging or discussing things with younger moms. I have 2 older children 23 and 20 and my youngest is 4 so I guess I can find myself fitting in anywhere.

_________________

Michelle, Fiance to Wyatt, Mom to Shane (22), Aubrey (19) and Baby Cameron DS (02/06/08 )

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

Me-Shell · Posted: May 02 2012, 11:13 AM Post subject:

I am an older mom (43) and I don't mind hanging or discussing things with younger moms. I have 2 older children 23 and 20 and my youngest is 4 so I guess I can find myself fitting in anywhere.

_________________

Michelle, Fiance to Wyatt, Mom to Shane (22), Aubrey (19) and Baby Cameron DS (02/06/08 )

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

LinMac · Posted: May 02 2012, 11:20 AM Post subject:

Perhaps your're just 'hanging in the wrong playground'!
The replies tell you there are a lot of us old timers on this forum!
Why not just talk to us!

BTW....I'm 47, had Robert at 39! I love talking to anyone, age is not an issue for me!

_________________
Linda & John
mom to Hannah Kate (Age 14 ), Robert (Aged 9 - DS)

First Communion Day

violettesmom · Posted: May 02 2012, 12:07 PM Post subject:

I have a new girlfriend who is 25 years old. I'm 45 years old. We both have young children with Down syndrome. Her friendship is a unexpected gift to come to me because of my child.

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JesKee · Posted: May 02 2012, 12:18 PM Post subject:

thank you everyone i guess now i know where to go and talk to people Smile

beckysmum · Posted: May 05 2012, 7:53 AM Post subject:

hi

what age are you? I do not consider myself old at 35 years old ( my teenage daughter does though lol ) If I have something in common with a person then I couldnt care less about age , I have friends in their 20's and also in their 50's , for me its all about personality and when it comes to going to DS groups we all interact , help and gossip together and we range from 30 - 65 Very Happy

xx

_________________
Claire & Chris , Mum and Dad to Bethany 05/03/1998 Calum 03/09/2004 Rebekah DS 13/01/2011

beckysmum · Posted: May 05 2012, 7:53 AM Post subject:

hi

what age are you? I do not consider myself old at 35 years old ( my teenage daughter does though lol ) If I have something in common with a person then I couldnt care less about age , I have friends in their 20's and also in their 50's , for me its all about personality and when it comes to going to DS groups we all interact , help and gossip together and we range from 30 - 65 Very Happy

xx

_________________
Claire & Chris , Mum and Dad to Bethany 05/03/1998 Calum 03/09/2004 Rebekah DS 13/01/2011

JesKee · Posted: May 06 2012, 11:03 PM Post subject:

Im 22 All the women i have met are all in there 30's some of them are nice

Grady's Mommy · Posted: May 07 2012, 7:47 AM Post subject:

I'm 32, so I guess i'm in your "older" category, lol. But seriously, age doesn't bother me. I had Grady at 24, so I feel like I can relate to being young with a child with DS. Expecially him being our first child.

But I also have "older" friends. Not necessarily friends with kids with DS, but just friends in their 40's. I myself find I relate to both.

_________________
~Kathy
Grady (DS 5/26/04)
Hailey 9/20/06
Evan 7/27/10

DanielsMommy · Posted: May 07 2012, 8:29 AM Post subject:

Quote:

I had Grady at 24, so I feel like I can relate to being young with a child with DS. Expecially him being our first child.

Kathy, I had no idea you were 24 when Grady was born. See, that tells you how much I pay attention to age!! LOL. We have been on downsyn for around the same time...Grady is just a bit older than Danny (he will be 7 in June).

I am now 43 but I had Danny at 36....so I guess I fall into the older mom category Cool

. Age to me totally doesn't matter....what matters more is common interests, personality and stuff like that. Age is just a number to me.

_________________

Lisa - Mommy to Elayna 10-1-02 and Daniel (Ds) 6-7-05
Always have hope....Without rain, there can be no rainbows.

Grady's Mommy · Posted: May 07 2012, 1:49 PM Post subject:

Yep, got my positive pregnancy test on my 24th birthday! So, "technically" I was 23 when he was conceived, lol! He will be 8 at the end of this month.

_________________
~Kathy
Grady (DS 5/26/04)
Hailey 9/20/06
Evan 7/27/10

JesKee · Posted: May 07 2012, 3:21 PM Post subject:

Thanks Ladies Make Me Feel Better <3

TheBradyBunch · Posted: May 07 2012, 10:12 PM Post subject:

I was also 24 when I gave birth to Noah....23 when I got pregnant with him.

_________________
Mom to: Nicholas (May/02), Nathan (April/04), Charlene (June/06), Noah (DS, ASD) (May/07), Jesse Lynn (July/08 ), Tessa (Apr/10), Kaitlyn (Jun/12)

"Sometimes the things we can't change end up changing us"

Momtoseven · Posted: May 14 2012, 11:03 AM Post subject:

At age 25 a very close friend of mine who also has a son Mark's age with DS could be my daughter(I'm 46). We get along great - she makes me feel young.

_________________
Maureen - Mom to Daniel(24), Brandon(22), Jordan(16), Thomas(14), Carrie(10), Samuel(7) and Mark (4)
https://www.carepages.com/carepages/MarkEdwardC32708