DownSyn Forum

[jobell]

I just wanted to share with others our experience with viewing tv or videos. My son was a quiet, observer personality, not very physically inclined, and very shy and inactive.
When he was much younger, he showed interest in tv/videos and I was happy because it was one of the only activities that animated him (he would dance to the Wiggles etc.). He seemed really happy, he was learning songs or motions and it did keep him occupied while I dealt with a busy home, 7 kids and full time work.
Somehow, from that innocuous beginning, I arrived at a point where he was 10 years old, a tv viewing addict, unable to enjoy much of any other activity. He would wake up in the morning and plop down in front of the screen, he wouldn't even eat breakfast sometimes unless I served it on a tray while he watched!!!
He would come home from school and right away dart into the family room to watch virtually until bedtime (with a few breaks when life was interesting to him).
His social skills seemed to deteriorate gradually, I couldn't get him working on anything (like reading, table activities). Gradually his interest in toys waned too. Why push around a car or build with legos, when you can watch the action and drama of Nemo?

When I took away videos or tried to limit it, he would throw fits, throw furniture (!) and be unmanageable and scary.

Something clicked finally, and last week I just unplugged the dvd player, unhooked any access to tv or movies, and just left the wii hooked up for exercise games. Surprisingly, he seemed to realize this was real, permanent and serious. He did not throw a fit, or cry, or anything. He asked for it, I told him it was gone, and that was it. Slowly, I see him re-emerging into real life. Taking a greater interest in what is going on in the house. helping me more with simple tasks (dishes, laundry). Playing and interacting more with family. His speech has improved. He is stimming less.

I just wanted to (humbly) recommend that parents seriously limit their children's viewing habits while their kids are young. Even if it takes much greater effort, keep your kid away from the screen and with you or other family members. They will learn better, be more integrated into the family and life, more independent, and more willing to attend to harder tasks (like reading) since there is not such a fun entertainment competing with it. Viewing can also then be used as a motivator alone (first reading, then a movie, or first clean up and then a show).

I did not do this on purpose. His dependence built gradually, without our awareness and then we didn't know how to handle it. I am so relieved he is 'off' viewing, even though I know the onus now falls on me to provide him with more activities and keep him occupied in other ways.

Hopefully, at least one parent of a younger child will read this, and not make the same unintentional error I made! YOU control the viewing, keep it within reasonable limits. There is not a lot of positivity in sitting in front of a tv screen.

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Mom to Rafael, DS 2001, and 6 older sibs.

[JanAndFamily]

Thanks for sharing this!

Jan

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wife and mother of Katherine (2004) and Christopher (Aug. 2007, DS)

[LinMac]

I have a tv adicit as well! We only have one TV in the house so when he's on the TV no once else can watch it!
The olympics have helped cos we stood our ground and he is force to share!

Was Rafi interested in all the programs? Can he follow the story lines?
Here I find we have the TV on but Robert is doing something else like using the IPad. When I turn it off he 'whines for Ireland'! So TV is on in the background a lot.
The only good thing is CBeebies channel shuts down at 7:00pm so we have control after that!

This is a great post to remind other parents, I also think you are way too hard on yourself !
I've noticed that 'once' become habitual with Robert. What I mean by that is if he does something once it becomes a haibt and its very hard to break the habit. I think the name for this is 'groving'.
I wonder if TV was a 'once grove' thing for Rafi?

I read your post yesterday and realised the IPad for Robert is like the TV for Rafi!! I took it off him today cos he was behaving so badly.
I can't wait till the school reopens at the end of August to limit his iPad use.

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Linda & John
mom to Hannah Kate (Age 14 ), Robert (Aged 9 - DS)


First Communion Day

[Adens mummy]

I have this same child! We have this huge flat screen TV in the center of a small house and the DS and Wii are a hugh issues for my boys. I have seen the difference after removing these things however struggle to convince the rest of the family. We are building a house end of the year, I have let it be known I want a lockable room for all things TV and gamEs. You have inspired me and I'm starting again today. Yeah going to stick to it, I have threatened my hubby he will come home oneday to the cords cut on the TV, so everyone really needs to be on board with me lol I feel like we are all plugged in to something all the time. Thx xxxxx

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[AliMama]

Thanks for the words of warning--I could see us going that way...

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Maresa,
Mom to Alisa (10-29-2008) DS, complete AV canal repair on 3-6-2009

[jobell]

I am not a fanatic anti-screen time person, but sadly I see a downside to overuse, even for my typical kids, even for us adults in the fam
it is a really addictive thing. For Rafi it is even more so, because it is the only activity in which he can indulge his passive nature, and still be hugely entertained.

Linmac, Rafi likes most shows, even ones that I am CONVINCED he cannot possibly understand. He likes anything with music, slapstick humor (he will roll with laughter over things like Ice Age movie), even boring things that I can't imagine him enjoying. One time he got stuck for a week watching lectures!
Once he played a scene of a funny pillow fight a hundred times in a row on rewind!
if he watches too much, he begins to mimic what he sees. He started beating up the seat on the bus (beside him) and the bus monitor complained about it, and finally he told me he was being 'kung-fu panda'. He hadn't seen that video in a long time! He also is more verbal without watching.

I do feel like a bit of a terrible parent, but I know it happened unintentionally. All I can do is try to correct it now.

Now he is happier, I am happier seeing him grow and develop more, his speech seems to be improving (and the whole family is TIRED from running a Rafi camp!). Must admit I look forward to school starting.

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Mom to Rafael, DS 2001, and 6 older sibs.

[Gracies mom]

Do you know I've actually been getting a little concerned because Grace isn't interested in the the tv at all, where as other kids with DS and typical,seem to be really interested. Silly hey! She just doesn't seem to notice it ! She would much rather play with her toys or have me read a book to her. The silly things we worry unnecessary about!!

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Cheryl mom to Hannah 10/11/94, Grace 30/11/10 ds, Stepmom to Ethen 30/06/00 and wife to John married Aug 06

[jobell]

Cheryl, you should bless your good fortune! Although, the interest in dvd or tv seems to grow as they get older. At this age, you can train her to do so many things so that she will have good habits as she gets older.

You are lucky!

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Mom to Rafael, DS 2001, and 6 older sibs.

[seansmom]

I get what you are saying. Sean loves his tv. It has been a life saver to me but I do wish he didn't watch as much. On a good note he seems to be shutting it off more on his own now and wanting to play in the backyard or he brings his toys all over the house and sets up scenes from movies. Pros and cons... shutting off tv a pro... a con is toys are now moving from the tv room to all over my house.. Lol. This year I will be shutting it off more and starting him on some chores.

Good advice for the moms of young ones!!

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Kellie Mom to Sean 10 yrs with DS and Carly 14 yrs

[Ragans Mama]

I have a love and hate relationship with tv watching. When I need to get stuff done, get Raganto eat, and quite time to let his stomache settle it is my friend. He loves barney. But it drives me crazy. He is actually getting bored with Barney now but doesn't like too much else. It has helped with muscle strengthening too. I have an ottoman blocking it so he would stand and watch and for a little boy with horrible muscle tone, it helped with that too. Problem is ragan does want it most of the time. Whims when he doesn't get it. That being said my husband is worse and he complains that ragan watches too much. Yet he is the one who will sit for hours in front of it and not participate in the house. Monkey see monkey do! If anyone has a way to get their husband to stop I am all ears be ause I wish he would play with ragan versus watching tv while I try to get supper to the table.

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New Mommy - Ragan is my one and only.....
[img]

[jobell]

Ha Kelly, that is so true. when they don't sit and watch, we have to work A LOT harder! more mess, more noise, more requests for assistance.
And yes, getting dinner on the table is a challenge Ragansmama. wish there was an 'off' switch for us adults too sometimes, wouldn't it be great if all Dad's could come home with energy to play with the kids while we cook! (or cook while we play with the kids? lol).

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Mom to Rafael, DS 2001, and 6 older sibs.

[lissad63]

For the longest time, Abs had absolutely no interest in tv or movies but now she MUST watch her music videos (kid ones) before bed time every night or there is screaming. Good advice to keep in mind - I will be conscious of not letting this get out of hand. Thank you!!

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http://babypelly.livejournal.com