DownSyn Forum

ssellen1 · Posted: January 05 2004, 9:55 PM Post subject:

Well, the holidays are over and they say people get depressed with all the hooplah done. I've never felt that way before. But now I feel like all I want to do is cry. Rick's working late alot so he hasn't been coming home (it's an hours drive and he has to get up at 4 am so it makes now sense to come home at 11 pm). Then there's the kids, I feel like if I give too much attention to Alysa Heather will be jealous, then I feel like if I give too much attention to Heather I'm neglecting Alysa. And now, we've doctors, dentists appointments for me, Heather and Alysa, not to mention the appointments I have to remind Rick about. Worrying about keeping all of us healthy so Alysa doesn't get sick. Then worrying about Rick driving (his driver's license was taken away, long story, back child support). Rick and I seem to fight more now, about stupid stuff. NO STRESS HERE! I feel like running away, but I want to take my girls and just go. Where? I don't know. I consider my parents and my family in NJ, but they would put me over the edge (they all drive me nuts, now you know why I live in NV). And then the ex-husband, can you believe he asked to use my bread slicer?! We've been divorced for over 3 years, what would possess him to ask to use something of mine? Going to work and dealing with people who are having their power, gas, water, etc shut off or being evicted because they spent too much money on their kids for christmas and didn't save enough for rent, and then telling them, "sorry, you make too much money" knowing that the children may be on the street tomorrow. And when I get home, all I want to do is relax, but job number 2 starts (taking care of the house and family). And when I get flooded with this, all I can think of is how much "I want my mommy."

Alysa is in the back ground calling mama, making raspberry sounds, just being too darn cute, and I have to laugh. I think I've lost my mind.

I know, I sound stupid, but I needed a place to go where I could let out some emotions. Sorry this was so long, and if you stayed with my "ranting" Thanks!

Ellen

Astrid · Posted: January 05 2004, 10:37 PM Post subject:

Oh man, I so understand you.
You always feel you are the only one going through soemthing like this.
My husband works a 13 hour shift at the moment. I basically don't see him from monday to friday. Three kids and one with DS. No dad around. Feeling a little over the edge.
I totally understand. I wish that there was a magic something out there that makes you feel OK. Feel like you aren't losing your mind. I have to say that in the middle of it all I really need to keep calm. It's hard though.

I wish there was something I could say to make it better.

Being overwhelmed is the worst feeling. I never know how to deal with it, but my little guy is a real cutie. He knows how to give real big bear hugs and that always makes everything feel OK.

Plus being bad weather we are stuck in the house. Kids have bad cabin fever.We live in Southern Ontario.

I hope all will be better soon for you.
Take care
Astrid

_________________
Astrid
Mama to
Lydia,12 yrs,
Freya,8 yrs and
Rhys(DS)6 yrs old.
Zoe, 3 yrs, our dog

Amanda & Phil · Posted: January 06 2004, 12:48 AM Post subject:

I won't go into my venting session, but just know you are not alone!!! I totally understand and can so relate. Things will sort themselves out, I PROMISE!

Hugs!!

AM

_________________
~ Amanda Marie
Mom to Michaela (11), Mikey (7) & Matty (18 months ~ Ds)
*~*See my beautiful children at*~*

http://photos.yahoo.com/amanda_marie77

carolyn · Posted: January 06 2004, 5:58 AM Post subject:

Hi Ellen, sorry to hear how low you are feeling. glad you could share. theres no doubt this time of year doesnt help and you sound like you are having to carry such a lot with your husband away such alot too. Looking after children is such a full time occupation not to mention the extra issues around when one of them has extra needs as our little ones do. And your job is all about looking after other people in what sound like often very difficult circumstances ( I am a social worker and can very much understand the miseries of this one!) I could really empathise with your situation. I am sure you will find the resources to get over this blue period. But its really good to share the lows as well as the highs on this site. Give yourself a little TLC and remember spring is just round the corner.

All the best,

Carrie

NattysMommy603 · Posted: January 06 2004, 11:11 AM Post subject: Can I join your party?

I so understand. My sister has been married to an abusive husband for 3 years now. They have 1 son together who is a year old. Then there's the oldest 2. This man refuses to pay bills, help with the kids, stays gone, is now cheating on her, etc, etc, etc, and I'M the one stressing! They are coming to live with me, my DH, Natalie, our cat, and all under one roof with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and no space to put them. They will sleep on my sleeper sofa until she can get a job and get on her feet. Gonna be hard to do that when a lot of places want a ged or highschool diploma which she has neither! She dropped out of school in the 10th grade because she was pregnant. My sister is only 21 and the first thing I said to her when she came crying to me was,"I told you so!" So, I do totally understand what you mean about stress. On top of all this, all the company left and we REALLY, REALLY miss them. I understand about depression and stress. Since I'm in Alabama I'm ready to run to California to get away from all of this. Hmm?

_________________
Tracy
Proud momma of
Natalie Marie 6/8/03 My baby is 5!,
Tyler Slayton 4/15/05 Wow, he's 3!
Rebecca Darlene 12/10/06 Has it really been a year and a half!

gbesco · Posted: January 06 2004, 12:17 PM Post subject:

Hi Ellen,

Just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you & I hope that you'll be able to get a much deserved break & some TLC real soon...

_________________
Bethany, mom to Elliot 14, Seth 12, Clarke 11, Olivia 3/6/03 Ds, Estelle,12/13/10 (adopted from the Marshall Islands)

Sally/Grandma to Mya · Posted: January 06 2004, 1:37 PM Post subject:

Ellen,
Wow, you have a lot on your plate right now. I cannot totally relate, however, I can relate the the feeling of being overwhelmed. happens to me every few months or so, and all I really have to worry about is myself and Manny. But even so, be it instinct, or habits formed by society, we women seem to take the brunt of the household responsibilities as well as our jobs. And being a mother never ends, even if it is answering a simple question about how to cook this or that. A mother is "on call" from the time that child is born. I think "Until death do us part" is more a vow to our children then to our mates. (oh that sounded horrible)
Anyway Ellen, do find a way to get in some "me" time. Even if it is only for a half an hour a week. It could only do you good. Things will get better soon.

_________________
Mya's Grandma

Nicola · Posted: January 06 2004, 3:43 PM Post subject:

Before I was married I was living wih a family that was expecting their 6th child while the husband was away most of the time. House life was stress plus. At the same time I was trying to re-educate a very backward institution for disabled adults. I had huge emotional demands all day and came home to someone elses whinging kids at night. It was horrible. I felt like I was going crazy and cried when ever I was alone. I swore at the time that when I had my own kids I would make sure that I did some sort of work that was a bit mindless and unemotional.

It sounds like you really need a job that is going to give you a bit of respite during the day, so that you have some energy left for your kids at night. A boring old desk job somewhere. I know it isn't so easy to change jobs but in the long run I think it would help you a lot.

Just my two cents worth.

Go easy on yourself and keep telling yourself "I can handle this"

_________________
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/457305_4140051469588_391538551_o.jpg
Mum to Brendan 18, Chiara 17, Kiernan 15, Aidan 13, Lachlan 12, Gianna 10 (DS) and Sienna 8.
"This then is what Yahweh asks of you: to act justly, to love tenderly and to walk humbly with your God."

Michele · Posted: January 06 2004, 3:57 PM Post subject:

I am sorry to hear that you are so overwhelmed and stressed. I will be thinking about you and hoping you can get some relief soon. Certainly it is not supid. Take care of yourself.

_________________
Michele
Mom to Marty (7/3/02, DS) and Marissa (10/22/04)

rhonda · Posted: January 06 2004, 4:41 PM Post subject:

Oh I so now how you feel!! I sure hope each day gets better and better for you!! Your in my thoughts and prayers!!

_________________
Rhonda

Taylor 18, Jordan 17, Dylan 8

ssellen1 · Posted: January 06 2004, 9:09 PM Post subject:

Thank you all for your kind words and support. Rick is coming home tonight, and we are going to have a talk. I haven't told him yet, but I have to let him know that money isn't always everything, and I want him to be home more. It's more of the feeling lonely than being alone. And the other bad thing about this feeling, I can't blame my period for this one. Thanks again, I am getting there, it will just take a few days.

Ellen

Sally/Grandma to Mya · Posted: January 06 2004, 11:20 PM Post subject:

Ellen,
Please check back in a few days and let us know how you are doing.

_________________
Mya's Grandma

neoclassical · Posted: January 12 2004, 6:07 PM Post subject:

I hope it all turns out allright. I'm depressed after the holidays because all the really good food went away.

ssellen1 · Posted: January 13 2004, 11:47 AM Post subject: Everything is going better

Thank you to all of you who have given me such encouragement. You have truly helped more than I can say.

Life is looking up. I feeling a whole lot better. Not near as depressed. Still have to shake a few things, but getting back to myself. Went through another bought of the cold, found out I had a sinus infection, took meds for that, and now just have some sniffles. The girls make me laugh every day. Just watching the two of them interact with each other is what life is all about. Rick and I had our talk. All went very well. He's been coming home almost every night. Work has slowed, so I can spend some time reading my baby sign language book. I'm learning more signs and actually remembering them.

What really helped was the biggest boost to my ego when I was the most down. We had a pediatrician appt last week. Just a well baby check, no shots or anything. After the visit the dr and I got to talking about how well Alysa is progressing (she is so loved in the dr. office). But the dr told me I was her hero. I never thought of myself that way and it really felt good. She said both Alysa and I are her heros. She just loves seeing us and how well she responds to me and that she can see that Alysa as more love than she could ever know. Alysa does have the best drs.

I've also learned, after how many years, and listening to my babysitter and her husband (very Christian) that I can't always fix everything and that sometimes I have to just turn it over to God. He'll let me know what the decision or answer is. So I've done that with the issues of Rick's ex-wife and his boys. God will let us know what is right.

Well, here I go again, rambling on. I am feeling more like myself, and thanks again.

Ellen

rhonda · Posted: January 13 2004, 12:41 PM Post subject:

Ellen I am so glad you are feeling better!!! Your babysitter has given you some good advise. Take care.

_________________
Rhonda

Taylor 18, Jordan 17, Dylan 8

LoveMyLivi · Posted: January 13 2004, 11:08 PM Post subject:

Glad to hear that you are feeling better...seems like sometimes, it just takes some time (and talking it through) to smooth out those bumps in the road. Glad to hear that Alysa has such a great ped. Olivia's is so wonderful, that I switched my other two kiddos to her as well (oldest one has to see a diabetes specialist). Anyways, hope that infection is gone for good....feeling good physically helps with the outlook too! Take care!

_________________
Veronika

Lucky Mom to Levi 20, Zachary 14, Fiona 11,
& my social butterfly...Olivia Lianne (11/22/02-DS) :)along with her faithful sidekick York