DownSyn Forum

LoveMyLivi · Posted: January 14 2004, 5:28 PM Post subject:

I suppose I have been in one of those "looking back" moods today. After all, alot of the babies here have turned one or are getting close to the big day and there is a lot of that "what a difference a year makes" talk going on. Which got me thinking......about the table of all things.

It wasn't an ordinary table...it was a wedding present from my husband's beloved Grandma. It was so beautiful with its classic French Provincial style, the warm honey color and floral engraving all along the apron and legs. It was (and still is) a very large table with room for 6 before the leaves are installed. It was chosen not just for it's beauty, but we could raise quite a family around such a grand table! That was our dream - alot of kids! As wonderful as this gift was, it sat empty in our love nest unless we entertained family or friends. Eric and I would share our meals at our cozy bar, alone but looking forward to some day....

The table would look splendid when we threw parties, decked out in fine antique linens and the like. At one such gathering, a guest (whom had 4 children as well as a younger sister that she was raising) made a comment that was ever so painful at the time...."How funny that Eric and you have such a big table for only the two of you! I need a table like this!" Now I realize she was just making an observation (plus her family had a house so small, there was no room for a table to accommodate her kids) but by the look on my face, she probably realized it was a hurtful comment, as we were struggling with infertillity, private adoptions that did not work out ect. She tried to encourage me with "I'm sure you will be blessed with children to fill this table soon." I wept that night in bed as I did many other nights... it was a hurtful thing not to have children - a family like all the others. When we married, we anticipated starting a family and now our dreams were being crushed as every month and year passed us by without bringing us what we so desired.

Of course, you might have guessed the end to my story! We rejoiced that one seat would be filled when we adopted Levi to raise as our own. Then of course, the miracle pregnancies that brought us Zachary and Fiona some time later.

One night at the table, Zachary asked why there was an empty seat. I patiently tried to explain to him (in that Mr. Rogers tone of voice we tend to use on pre-schoolers)that we only had 5 members in our family. He wasn't buying that explanation! If we had room for 6, where was the other person? He brought up his argument to fill that lonely chair almost every night for quite a while. I realized the other day that every seat is now filled, as Olivia sits in a booster seat to join us. The "other person" has arived!

The once splendid table is now very different. It carries the marks and scratches of a well used peice of furniture. You might even find some dried on bits of food that I didn't catch when cleaning up. Not to mention marker stains or the fact that I have done a terrible job of gluing the broken splats back together on the ladder back chair! For what my big table lacks in newness or neatness of appearance, I wouldn't trade the smiling faces or engaging conversation around it for anything!

The comments that once hurt me so are now devoid of any sting. I imagine that the pain that comes with having a child who is "different" or considered disabled, also loses it's sting as well....with time. What a difference a year (or 13) make!

[Edited by veronika Evans on 01-14-2004 at 08:43 PM]

_________________
Veronika

Lucky Mom to Levi 20, Zachary 14, Fiona 11,
& my social butterfly...Olivia Lianne (11/22/02-DS) :)along with her faithful sidekick York

connorsmom · Posted: January 14 2004, 6:01 PM Post subject:

Dang it. I'm going to have to stop reading these boards at work, people are going to think I'm having a nervous breakdown in here with all the crying I do.

Thanks for sharing. That was so beautiful.

Suzanne

Nicola · Posted: January 14 2004, 6:16 PM Post subject:

WOW! You really have a gift with words. That was a beautiful story, and worth being published in places more distinguished than these magnificent boards. REALLY!! You must send it to Reader's Digest or something similar.

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https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/457305_4140051469588_391538551_o.jpg
Mum to Brendan 18, Chiara 17, Kiernan 15, Aidan 13, Lachlan 12, Gianna 10 (DS) and Sienna 8.
"This then is what Yahweh asks of you: to act justly, to love tenderly and to walk humbly with your God."

samantha's mom · Posted: January 14 2004, 6:47 PM Post subject:

Oh that was so great, I agree with Nicola, publish it. Oh I need to go get a tissue. Elizabeth

rhonda · Posted: January 14 2004, 7:45 PM Post subject:

I must agree, you have a great way with words. What a touching story(sniffle, sniffle). I am so glad you were blessed with your 4 beautiful children to fill your table!!!

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Rhonda

Taylor 18, Jordan 17, Dylan 8

vonda · Posted: January 14 2004, 8:24 PM Post subject:

That was beautiful, should be in a column in a newspaper somewhere, or in Woman's Day or SOMEWHERE, titled "The Old Table". It's amazing how things turn out isn't it. We were just talking with friends the other night, about our bout with infertility, 5 years of trying and trying, finally succeeding after 2 in vitro attempts, and look at us now, a whole house of loud kids running around driving us crazy. I wouldn't have it any other way. I was destined to be a mother, in one way or another I NEED to have children in my life and it all worked out in the end. You are truly lucky to have all of your children, and Olivia is the icing on the cake!!! Vonda

Michele · Posted: January 14 2004, 10:50 PM Post subject:

I couldn't agree more with everyone! That is a beautiful, touching story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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Michele
Mom to Marty (7/3/02, DS) and Marissa (10/22/04)

Kelly J · Posted: January 15 2004, 12:27 AM Post subject:

I have to admit, when I started reading, I wondered if this was a true story or one that you'd found and decided to share, Veronika. Getting to the end and realizing that it's YOUR story was the best part!! It is beautiful, and I agree with the others, it should be published. Why not send it to the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book people? They have an address in the cover of their books for you to send stories to. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!

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Kelly J

Sally/Grandma to Mya · Posted: January 15 2004, 10:12 AM Post subject:

Veronika...WOW!!!!!!!!
What a beautiful story. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I am going to have to make sure and print it. You write so beautifully. It makes me want to sit around that table with you and your beautiful family. I now have a table, that My husband inherited from his ex's grandma. It is an old maple table. Not the prettiest thing, but I think we will always have it. Like yours, it can sit 6 easily without the leaves. I love it when the table is full of people, but for the most part, it sits unused while we eat our dinner on TV trays in the living room. It is a really cool table though, the leaves drop to make it a cozy table for two. But then what do you do with the other 6 chairs???
Thank you Veronkia for such a heart warming story and a wonderful glimpse into your life.

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Mya's Grandma

NattysMommy603 · Posted: January 15 2004, 6:08 PM Post subject: WOW!!

Wow Veronika. I am so moved by your words. You know, I have never noticed my empty table until I read your story. I realized that our 4 seater sits empty except for 1 week of each year. This time next year hopefully that won't be the case. I am so thrilled for you and your happiness that life has brought to you. Like said before you should have your words published. You speak words I've never thought of. Thanks for your encouragement as I am having difficulties in the baby department and I realize that there is hope. I won't give up.

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Tracy
Proud momma of
Natalie Marie 6/8/03 My baby is 5!,
Tyler Slayton 4/15/05 Wow, he's 3!
Rebecca Darlene 12/10/06 Has it really been a year and a half!

gbesco · Posted: January 15 2004, 9:15 PM Post subject:

That was so beautiful, Veronika. Thank you so much for sharing it!

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Bethany, mom to Elliot 14, Seth 12, Clarke 11, Olivia 3/6/03 Ds, Estelle,12/13/10 (adopted from the Marshall Islands)

Emdad · Posted: January 15 2004, 11:18 PM Post subject:

A splendid piece of work!
I enjoyed it thoroughly. A wonderful way to share your heart.

Amanda & Phil · Posted: January 16 2004, 1:01 AM Post subject:

Wow...that's about all I can say!

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~ Amanda Marie
Mom to Michaela (11), Mikey (7) & Matty (18 months ~ Ds)
*~*See my beautiful children at*~*

http://photos.yahoo.com/amanda_marie77

Myztri · Posted: January 16 2004, 3:07 AM Post subject:

that is simply incredible.. it really is...

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Annieo · Posted: January 16 2004, 10:34 AM Post subject:

Wonderful! I agree that it should be published. Thanks for sharing your story here.

Annieo

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Ann, married to Tim, mom to Sally, Mark, Jane, John (12/02, DS), Paul, and Alice
www.caringbridge.org/visit/johnbremer

Heidi · Posted: January 19 2004, 8:13 AM Post subject:

Wonderful words-thank you.

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Heidi

Amanda & Phil · Posted: January 20 2004, 12:48 PM Post subject:

Had to read it again....just love it.

_________________
~ Amanda Marie
Mom to Michaela (11), Mikey (7) & Matty (18 months ~ Ds)
*~*See my beautiful children at*~*

http://photos.yahoo.com/amanda_marie77

SWoody · Posted: January 22 2004, 10:48 PM Post subject:

Veronika,

You have a beautiful way with words, what a talent!!

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Sue, Ally's mom (10/6/00 DS), and Aidan's mom (2/24/06)