DownSyn Forum

[Momtoseven]

We have been working on this for the past few months with not much progress. The biggest problem is getting Mark to stay seated on the potty. We read him books and try to keep him occupied, but he can't seem to sit still. Do you think he is ready? Am I rushing this? How much of this do I fight? I don't want him to not like this - he likes to do this on HIS terms and watch out if you push too hard. Can any of you who have had success share some of your wisdom. With my other kids they would stay seated when I told them and reading a book kept them occupied. Time seems to be my enemy - too much going on. Does the three day potty training thing work? I could do three days, but am skeptical. Please help!

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Maureen - Mom to Daniel(24), Brandon(22), Jordan(16), Thomas(14), Carrie(10), Samuel(7) and Mark (4)
https://www.carepages.com/carepages/MarkEdwardC32708

[greatlakesmom]

When we potty-trained my daughter, we tried on the big toilet first. Then, bought a "princess" potty for her. I think it was by Playskool? Whenever, she'd void into the little bowl the throne lit up and the seat played music. I laughed at it at first, but for whatever reason, hearing the music was actually motivation to her to stay on until she went. It did take a bit of time. It was strange it seemed like she got the hang of it, then did a step back for a bit, before she got it. We also used potty treats as incentive; first for just sitting on the potty for whatever specified period of time, then when she got down, we changed it to when she went potty. Don't know if that is helpful. I sympathize with you, it's not an easy journey. Best of luck!

[Kasey]

With Paige, we did a one day method. While I think it depends on your definition of potty trained (sometimes it's training the parents more than the kids), but it worked. We of course still have good days and bad days. But it taught her that this is the potty, we go pee on it.
It was intense, but fun at the same time. The thing is though, she did have to sit on it until she went - no matter how long it took. Once it took 40 minutes. But within a few times, she understood when mom puts me on the potty I do my business, and it took no longer than 3 minutes. Books did work for Paige though, and if she got off, I put her back on. "First Pee, then play" At some points I would actually give her a cold drink on the potty and that would help her go.
There's much more to it, increasing time away from potty, big potty parties, etc etc etc.

I think potty training is really up to the style of the parent and child. But if I had waited until Paige could "tell me", I never would've realized how much she is really capable of.

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Kasey, mom to Paige (4), Leigha (0!)

[lespring]

You know, I have a hunch. I would wait until summer (unless it's already warm there!) and let him go without pants AT ALL so he becomes aware of the fact that he's peeing. Asher dribbles a lot. None of my other boys dribbled like this, but I'm thinking it's just a muscle tone thing. Anyway, Asher knows how to make himself pee on the toilet, but he doesn't seem to get the part about not letting himself dribble.

I have him in training pants during the day (we're on day 3) but he's not peeing on the potty. Instead when he naps in his diaper he's flooding it!

I see a long road of potty training ahead of me.

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~Leah~

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mom to Rob 26, Noah 25, Tyler 23, Bryon 23, Angela 16 (DS), Axel 12 (DS, adopted from Serbia 12/2012, AAI w/fusion) Asher 7 (DS adopted from Serbia 12/2011, AAI non-fusion)

[Momtoseven]

Thank you both for your ideas.

Greatlakesmom - It's funny you mentioned the potty with music - we also have the boy version of the "throne" and it plays royal music when he goes! He seems to love it, but I don't think he gets the association yet. Unfortunately, Mark does not eat treats - he doesn't even like food much at all. I used to give treats to my other kids for going and it was very effective - wish I could do it with Mark.

Kasey - I like the idea of having him stay on and just putting him back on - could turn into a battle though. I hadn't thought to give him a drink while on there. I am going to set aside a day to devote totally to this - thanks!

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Maureen - Mom to Daniel(24), Brandon(22), Jordan(16), Thomas(14), Carrie(10), Samuel(7) and Mark (4)
https://www.carepages.com/carepages/MarkEdwardC32708

[Momtoseven]

Leah - I have to admit that the idea of waiting for summer sounds good just for me to not have to deal with it right now - lol. I do remember letting the boys run around with no pants in the warm weather - if I have no luck within the next few weeks I will give that a shot. I'm already worn out from fighting Mark on physical therapy and feeding.

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Maureen - Mom to Daniel(24), Brandon(22), Jordan(16), Thomas(14), Carrie(10), Samuel(7) and Mark (4)
https://www.carepages.com/carepages/MarkEdwardC32708

[mary c]

We used two incentives with Anna and they worked very well. I got a sheet of paper and wrote the day on one side with a line that went across the page. Everytime she used the potty successfully I would put a sticker on the line. Everyone in the family was instructed to notice and comment on the stickers. She was so proud of herself for earning the things (and believe me she had never showed any interest whatsoever in stickers before). It was the fact that she was getting a lot of positive attention that made it work.

Also every time she was successful we would sing a crazy "Hurray for Anna" song that we made up. She loved it.

I gave her tons of drinks and watermelon and put her in cloth training pants rather than diapers so she was very aware if she had an accident. If she had an accident I would change her without comment--no attention was paid to mistakes only to successes. I put her on the potty every 30 minutes and the combination of lots of fluids and frequent access made it possible to have lots of successes. If she didn't use the potty within a couple of minutes of being put on it, I would take her off, give her more fluids, and return her to the potty within 30 minutes. She quickly learned that she got a lot of positive attention by using the potty and nothing by not except a wet bottom so she was potty trained. For a very long time though she was "time trained". She would not initiate a trip to the potty, but once brought there would use it. It is probably only in the last year of so that she would actually be responsible for remembering to go. Even so, I always make her go when we are leaving the house for any reason or if I notice it has been a long time since she went.

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Mary
Mom to Libby 6/92, Alex 9/93, Anna (DS)12/12/03

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[Kasey]

The one day method was something I learned at a DS conference. It was a whole case study thingy. I can send it if you want. But I admit, when I heard it I was "ya right - how do you get a kid to stay that long" But the idea is to make the child successful. Load them with cold liquids, salty snacks. Take every 10 minutes, then when they are successful 5 times, you make the time longer to 15 minutes, do that 5 times, etc etc etc.

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Kasey, mom to Paige (4), Leigha (0!)

[babystpierre]

Hi there - boy, all this brings back memories!! We did the 3 day potty training method and it worked!! It worked totally day and night. It was intense (for us big people) but a lot of fun for Gunnar. It was the positive approach that sold me on it...but we waited until Gunnar was five years old. I don't regret giving him that extra time because I just don't think it would have been successful earlier on for us.
Good luck with whatever you choose and know that if it isn't working now - just give it some more time and try it again adjusting as you go along. Mark will get there
˜Lauri

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[LinMac]

I think what Robert really needed was tons and tons of 'modeling' what was required.

Even if he wet or soiled himself it was important to put him on the toilet after he was cleaned and tell him what you wanted him to do!
Not in an angry or disappointed way.......just in an informative one!

I'd say.....'Robert we do our wee in the toilet'. Always the same phrase!
When he understood what was needed of him, in our case 8 months to get our first wee in the potty, he took off with it and had it cracked within a day!
It was like he needed all the learning time and practice before he was confident to' let go'!

Good luck!

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Linda & John
mom to Hannah Kate (Age 14 ), Robert (Aged 8 - DS)


First day at school

[Momtoseven]

Kasey - If you could send the info about the one day training I would appreciate it. My email is blcmec2@verizon.net. Thanks.

Thanks for your ideas everyone. I love to hear what worked for all of your kids - you never know what will motivate any particular child. What works for one doesn't for another. So I appreciate as many ideas as I can get.

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Maureen - Mom to Daniel(24), Brandon(22), Jordan(16), Thomas(14), Carrie(10), Samuel(7) and Mark (4)
https://www.carepages.com/carepages/MarkEdwardC32708

[kctahoe]

We tried on and off during the years, and if he was not "getting" it, not really understanding what was going on, then I would just stop for a few more months, then try again. Eventually (when he was 5 1/2) he began to understand this potty thing. First he started doing it at school, then when he was in underware at school, I knew he knew the concept, so that is when we went "cold turkey" and started only wearing underware at home. We had a "Potty Watch" to help us to encourage him to hold it until his watch sang and it was time to try the potty. He was training within about three days. So, I suppose you can just stick with it and eventually he will learn, or you could be more relaxed and wait until he seems more ready. It is hard to say which way is best. I often wonder if Charlie would have trained earlier if we had persisted, but he is my oldest and I have my hands full of little people needing me for every little need, so it was too much for me to persist when he was just not getting it yet. Anyway, this is our experience. Charlie is still in pull-ups at night, but during the day he wears underwear. We need to take him to the potty or he will just say "no" when we ask if he needs to go.

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Kim. Wife to Ray, Mommy to Charlie (DS), Calvin, and Miles.

[Wild-Angels]

Ugh I have the same problem with Blake..he is nearly 6.5 has 3 pottys scattered around the house. He will sit on it to watch tv...he will sit on it in the toilet but wont do anything.
If I leave him without a nappy he walks around the house carrying one.
The school is trying too but they want to get him in four days a week but on the 4th day he wont have a one on one person with him to take him or change him so they keep putting it off...so he stays at 3 days
he seems frightened of the big toilet but signs toilet then heads there but if you try to encourage him to use it he bolts.

Hes bad at sitting on it then getting up and doing the duty on the floor...ive made him watch me clean it and help then take him into the toilet and flush it but nothing seems to be working
He just doesnt seem to recognise when he needs to go.

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