My daughter has decided she wants to be independent and will only pee when she asks for it. She systematically refuses to use the toilet if we offer but only asks to go every several hours when her bladder is really full. She is dry during the night if she goes before going to bed but since she refuses to go when we ask her to, she now wakes up at night to pee or after she peed... The other issue is that I think it increases risks for UTI if she doesn't pee often enough.

She's too young to understand the timer/alarm concept. She'll sit on the toilet at regular interval (that's what they do in daycare), but refuse to pee. Sometimes, she'll ask to go 5 minutes later and pee a huge amount. It's really about her having control.

Any ideas to help her pee more often. We tried running the tap but that doesn't work.

_________________
Evelyne
Mom to
Benjamin (99)
Jeremy (01)
Alexandrine - DS (Nov 07)

My boy Robert has 'a steel bladder' to quote Leah!

He could go for hours without weeing.
This was a problem trying to potty train him cos he held on for ages and there were not enough session to teach him what was required.
I have no practical advice....except one from my doctor which I refused for obvious reason!
He suggested I give Robert a class of Coke a Cola drink....the body can only hold onto that for 20 minutes....it has to let it go!
If you daughter already likes Coke a Cola perhaps a small glass before bed time? Not sure if this works....
Robert will only drink milk or water so it was't an option for me.
Good luck!

_________________
Linda & John
mom to Hannah Kate (Age 12 ), Robert (Aged 6 - DS)


First day at school

She's g-tube fed so I could put coke through her tube. I doubt I would do that though as it is not a healthy drink...

_________________
Evelyne
Mom to
Benjamin (99)
Jeremy (01)
Alexandrine - DS (Nov 07)

Well...if she's not in any discomfort, then I don't think it's a problem. My daughter Jesse pees on the toilet, huge amounts, she also lets her bladder become quite full before she goes, it's just a battle not worth picking imo unless she is peeing all over the floor. I'd rather have her go when she has to, than associate the toilet with a power struggle.

On a side note. I wish I could potty train Noah. He's not even close to even noticing when he goes to the bathroom.

_________________
Mom to: Nicholas (May/02), Nathan (April/04), Charlene (June/06), Noah (DS) (May/07), Jesse Lynn (July/08 ), Tessa (Apr/10)

Well, if you really think she has to go but is just being stubborn... I guess you could try something like 1st/then (here I go again, talking about 1st/then but it's the ONLY thing that works for Josh and it works SO well).

Maybe "1st you pee on the potty and then you can have an M&M" (or other favorite food). Some people don't like to use food (with Josh, I use food because he's NOT a good eater either). You could use "1st you pee, then you can watch Dora" (or whatever). Maybe you could even stop the TV in the middle of her favorite show and tell her she can continue it after she pees.

Josh has a 'bladder of steel' and can hold it forever. I think he holds back too because he'll go a little and not 20 minutes later he can pee a TON. He never tells me he has to go tho... I just have set times during the day when I make him go. Sometimes he refuses and, if he does, it's usually because he's a little constipated. I have no idea if there is a correlation, but I think it might be because he has a bellyache??

I'd probably start by having set times to go... when she gets up, late morning, late afternoon, before bed... those are the times when we go (and before we go out anywhere).

Susan & Josh

lemon juice (diluted i suppose) and/or cranberry juice may give the same diuretic reaction as a coca-cola????

have definitely learned that you cannot make someone pee if they refuse - got a stubborn child on our hands as well who has been known to hold it for 8 hours before!

oh, and definitely like Susan said for Josh, 1st/THEN works really well for Janna too!!!

_________________
Momma to Janna Macie (CAVCanal/Mitral Valve Repair-T21-02/02/05)
Wife to Joseph (TOF & still thriving)


"Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance." St. Francis of Assisi

"God has not always answered my prayers. If He had, I would have married the wrong man several times." Ruth Bell Graham

We've tried the 1st/Then approach but were not successful with it. I'm not sure she understands the 1st/then concept yet.

I hope it's temporary. She's been quite frustrated lately (we've had to stop oral food and use g-tube instead due to esophagus issues) and I think it's related but I'm not sure.

_________________
Evelyne
Mom to
Benjamin (99)
Jeremy (01)
Alexandrine - DS (Nov 07)