DownSyn Forum - GRANDPARENTS

Would you like to
help support this site?

DownSyn Forum > Questions > GRANDPARENTS

Email This Page to a Friend!     Show a Printable Version < Last Thread Next Thread >

Author

Topic: GRANDPARENTS

03-06-2006 02:58 PM



momof2girls
New Member

Location:
Registered: Mar 2006
Posts: 1
Last visit: 03-06-2006

We have a member who states that her family (grandparents, aunt/uncles) AVOID her 4-year old daughter with DS rather than accept her. She is also having a hard time getting her church community to accept her daughter.

Have any of you dealt with situation? What advice could I offer as another mother? What support could a DS association offer to her?

03-06-2006 11:54 PM



dianelawrence
New Member

Location: myrtle beach, sc
Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 7
Last visit: 03-23-2006

grandparents
I don't know what to tell you..My son's aunt and uncle pretty much ignore his daughter because she is "slow"..They have another niece who was born with fetal alcohol syndrome and has deformed arms and legs but they have no trouble with her because she is "smart"..I guess the only thing I can tell you is that it is their loss..My grand daughter, 19 month old Summer Rose is the best thing that ever happened to us..Her smile and charm will steal your heart away in an instant..and she is pretty darned smart too!!
It is incredible how when she was tiny they had no interest in holding her or even seeing her..I just don't understand how people can be so callous..But we have seen their true colors in the past year with much more than this one situation..I know this hasn't really answered your question and I think I will quit before I elaborate any further..:-)
__________________
grandma to Summer Rose

03-07-2006 04:35 AM



Mashpotato_69
Senior Member

Location: Birchington, Thanet, Kent, England, UK
Registered: Aug 2005
Posts: 136
Last visit: 03-24-2006

My partner's brother hasn't lived with the family for many yrs his 20 now. He lived with their dad who my partner refuses to see. We saw the brother Chris in the town and it was the first time he saw Saul and it was only for a moment.
his mum told his father to tell him saul had downs. Chris got angry and doesn't believe it. he said he'd seen him and he looked normal there was nothing wrong with him.

Everyone else has been fine and just see's him as Saul.
Its a shame some people choose to close their minds instead of seeing what new things they could learn by embracing new situations.

__________________

03-07-2006 09:23 AM



klem
Super Member

Location: Gadsden, AL
Registered: Aug 2004
Posts: 1759
Last visit: 03-24-2006

WOW. I'd say change churches ASAP. I mean, what religion is that??? As far as the grandparents and such, it is their loss. Too bad for them. My parents think that Drake hung the moon. My dad has gone as far as to say, which we'd never tell the other kids, that out of all of his grandchildren, there are four, there has never been one more cute or more irresistable than Drake. I tell that for a possible story for your friend to use when telling her parents that she'll no longer be in touch with them. I just don't understand some people There's nothing any organization could do for her to change the attitudes of people around her.
__________________
Kelley, Robby's wife
mom of Daulton, the Mayor (10-07-98) and Drake, my treasure on loan from God (4-19-04) DS

03-07-2006 09:57 AM



azvalerie
Senior Member

Location: Phoenix, AZ
Registered: Mar 2004
Posts: 675
Last visit: 03-24-2006

How sad. But I have to agree with Kelly - change churches and tell the grandparents it's their loss! Some cultures, some people just can't see their way past that label - Down Syndrome. They see the negative no matter what and nothing we say or do will change their minds.

Jaymes is the center of my family's love. Everyone adores him. The running "joke" is that he's the favorite grandson of the favorite child for my dad.
__________________
Valerie
Proud mommy to Jaymes Xavier 6/4/03
& Baby #2 - EDD 5/15/06

03-07-2006 10:14 AM



Rasbora
New Member

Location: New Jersey
Registered: Dec 2005
Posts: 28
Last visit: 03-19-2006

I DITTO Kelley!!!
If people can't accept a beautiful angel child, it's is their LOST!!!

(((hugs))) to your friend!
Also they are only a small group of "jerks" excuse me, did I say that? There are so many loving people who will accept her little one. You're one of them Continue to encourage her.
__________________
A.J.:7 Down Syndrome
Caleb:4
Baby Boy Due 4/18/2006

03-07-2006 03:57 PM



DanielsMommy
Super Member

Location: Rhode Island
Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 1403
Last visit: 03-24-2006

I don't know what to say. I would certainly get a new church. I imagine no matter what religon you are, God would never tolerate shunning one of his children due to Ds or any other disability. I believe God would see that behavior as a sin. Children are blessings and should be treated that way.

As for the family......get rid of them. If it was me, they would NEVER hear from me again...no explantion, no call, no nothing......they would NEVER be allowed to look at my beautiful childs face, hear his voice or even be in his presence. Once again, children are a blessing no matter how many arms, legs, fingers, toes or chromosomes they have.

Shame on the church, shame on the family...end of story!! Please encourage this family to join our site....we are an amazing community here to help each other.
__________________
Lisa
Mommy to Elayna 10-1-02 and Daniel Ds 6-7-05
Always have hope....Without rain, there can be no rainbows.

03-07-2006 08:22 PM



Sam
New Member

Location: South Australia
Registered: Jan 2006
Posts: 21
Last visit: 03-23-2006

This is so sad. I don't know what to say as far as the Grandparents go except that ignorance can sometimes cause fear so maybe they just don't know the real facts about DS (there are some really odd myths about it). As far as your church goes God made your beautiful child just the way they are and God does not make mistakes! Your child was ment to be this way the same as our Dakota was ment to have DS. Any church group who truly believed in God would be accepting of ALL people with disabilitys - NO MATTER WHAT SORT IT IS. By not accepting her they are saying that they don't accept Gods creation they think he made a mistake!!!!!! I belong to a group of Bible students called the Christadelphians (long name i know)and they have been so supportive that its overwhelming. Dakota is 8 months old and I'm still getting at least one meal every week to help out as we have a few little ones. We did organize a DS information night that we put on for our community and church group. This was a huge success and everyone said after they now realize that DS is not a bad thing at all and we will all probably learn alot more from Dakota than we can ever teach her.

Remember it's usually ignorance that breeds fear. If they're not ignorant of DS than they're just plain MISSING OUT ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL CHILD.
__________________
Samantha & Darren

Zacchaeus 13/Jan/2001
Declan 26/Mar/2002
Jachan 02/Dec/2003
Dakota (ds) 12/Jul/2005

All times are ET (US)

Forum Jump:
< Last Thread Next Thread >



Forum Rules:
Who Can Read The Forum? Any registered user or guest.
Who Can Post New Topics? Any registered user.
Who Can Post Replies? Any registered user.
Changes: Messages can be edited by their author if registered.
Posts: HTML code is OFF. Smilies are ON. BB code is ON. [IMG] code is ON.

Admin Options:
Open / Close Thread
Move Thread
Delete Thread
Edit Thread