DownSyn Forum - I want another baby !!

Would you like to
help support this site?

Go to first unread post

DownSyn Forum > Introductions > I want another baby !!

Email This Page to a Friend!     Show a Printable Version < Last Thread Next Thread >

Author

Topic: I want another baby !!

03-23-2006 12:11 PM



sgooda2
New Member

Location:
Registered: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Hi Everyone

My name is Sally and I have a 12 year old daughter Grace who has DS and a 9 year old daughter Katie. I am now 37 years old and 2 weeks ago found out I was pregnant. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage the following week.

I now feel I would really like another child, but am scared by the high risk of having another child with DS, because of my age and the fact that I already have one child with a disability. Grace is fantastic and I wouldn't change her for the world (she was so excited to think she was having another brother or sister) but I'm not sure what the impact would be of having another child with DS and maybe another disability in our family, how would it affect us as a family, and how would it affect Katie to have two siblings with a disability.

Should I just be grateful for the two beautiful children I already have or should I take the plunge. Are there any mums out there who had had a second child with DS, or who is an old timer like me and would like more.

I'd love to hear from somebody who may be or have been in a similar situation.

Sally
X

03-23-2006 01:32 PM



LinMac
Senior Member

Location: Dublin, Ireland
Registered: Oct 2005
Posts: 580
Last visit: 03-24-2006

quote:
Are there any mums out there who had had a second child with DS, or who is an old timer like me and would like more.

Hi Sally,

Welcome to the forum. So glad you introduced yourself.

That's the million dollar question for all parents on this site!! I am afraid there is no crystal ball to give us the answers. We have to trust what's for us is meant to be.
I know the reality can be very different.

I can only share my experiences.....

My sister and I both have kids with DS. My niece was born four years ago, Robert was born two years after that (non genetic DS). So you might say that lightening struct twice in our family....but it's a different kind of lightening in both cases.

Kelly's arrival was a major shock for both my sister, her hubbie and my family. She had surgery in the first month and she has been a pretty sickly child.

Robert had no medical issues and it was somewhat easier, if something like the arrival of a kid with DS into a family can be easy!

My hubbie and I decide to take wisdoms from watching how my sister had coped ...or not as the case maybe.

I have been thinking alot about this question over the last few days. I got news this week that a mum I know, who has a daughter with DS, has had another child with serious medical problems. This news sent me reeling with pain and worry for my friends.....I feel life is so unfair.... but in this tourmil I have come to understand there are no guarantees in this life.

So heres my take on this.... no one can tell you what's ahead of us all....and I say thank God for that, otherwise we'd never get out of bed each day.

I know I have coped with a child with a disability and I know if it happened again I'd cope cos I'd have no other options. The child would need me and I wouldn't fail it.

I'm not sure if this answers your questions or concerns.

Nice to meet you and I look forward to hearing all about Grace and Katie. It's great to have more experienced parents share their journey with us.

A big welcome to you.

__________________
Linda & John
mom to Hannah Kate (Age 7), Robert (04/16/2004, DS)

03-23-2006 05:58 PM



** Hannah's mom ** UK
Super Moderator

Location: West Midlands UK
Registered: Jun 2004
Posts: 3851
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Hi welcome to the forum Sally

I would have to say go for it ( expecting a third child myself due in a few weeks )

there are no guarantees for the child I am carrying but is there for any child

who knows that if you are born with the "perfect/normal" baby that they won't grow up and cause you more heartache than a baby who has a disability

you just don't know

In an ideal world it would be wonderful if there were such guarantees but I have learned to take what God has given me and make the best of my situation

I think I learned that if I spent all my time being bitter I would miss out on the lovely blessings that are staring me in the face.

so I would say go for it and we look forward to hearing you share with us that you are again expecting

Jo
__________________
Jo mummy to Hannah (DS ) who was 3 in July 05 and Rebecca who was 2 in Jan 06

My beautiful girls

Baby 3 due April 10th 2006

Visit

Hannah's webpage and read all about her journey

03-23-2006 06:57 PM



DanielsMommy
Super Member

Location: Rhode Island
Registered: Sep 2005
Posts: 1402
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Wow, we must be thinking alike because I almost made a post just like this one. I am 37 as well...and would love another...but the thought of another child with special needs just kind of scares me. My child with Ds is only 9 months..so I guess it is early to think about another now anyway...but I guess there really is no answer...just have faith that you can handle whatever God gives you.
__________________
Lisa
Mommy to Elayna 10-1-02 and Daniel Ds 6-7-05
Always have hope....Without rain, there can be no rainbows.

03-23-2006 07:12 PM



SammysMom
New Member

Location: Federal Way, WA
Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 23
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Hi Sally!

I can understand you feelings. My husband I are talking about having another baby even though I will be 41 this year. We would love for Sammy to have a little brother or sister. It's a big committment for us (financially) because we would have to undergo IVF again.

As for concerns about the next child having DS...well, I can only say that while we wouldn't wish it on another baby, we are prepared to love and accept our next child no matter how many chromosomes he/she has. Sammy has been such a delight. Just like with my last pregnancy, I don't even think we would have an amnio done.

I wish you all the best with your decision. I'm sure you will do what is right for your family!
__________________
Sandy
Mom to Sam (08/01/2004) DS

03-23-2006 07:18 PM



elizasmom
Senior Member

Location: Marin County, CA
Registered: Jul 2005
Posts: 534
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Hello and welcome.
I am 37 too, and i can tell you thinking about this keeps me up at night. At the same time we really want to have 3 (or maybe 4) children in our family. We kinds of have to take the leap of faith. But that doesn't make the worry and anxiety go away...talking about it does help i think so chat away! I can't wait to see pictures of your girls! In the scheme of things 37 isn't that (or so i tell myself ).
__________________
Liz - Mom to Walker (3/24/02) and Eliza (Ds) (5/6/05)

03-23-2006 08:57 PM



always_chaos
Senior Member

Location: Detroit Metro, MI
Registered: Dec 2005
Posts: 478
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Well, my grandmother was 51 when she had my father. My sister was 40 when she had my nephew. My mother in law was almost 50 when she had her youngest. I have two other friends who had children in their 40's none of them had a child with DS.

I had Elainah two months after I turned 36-and didn't know she was sporting the extra chromosomes until after she arrived.

I think that the odds are greater, because of age, but you never know what may happen. If you have managed raising your children up to now and survived I say have another baby if you feel you are ready. I think it is worth the odds no matter what if you feel there is room for another baby.

Elainah is my last, but if I had it all to do over again, and had another-I still would opt to have no testing.

__________________
Visit Our Blog:
Always Chaos At Our House

03-23-2006 11:53 PM



kellyrimmer
Senior Member

Location: Atwood, TN
Registered: Feb 2006
Posts: 184
Last visit: 03-23-2006

Hi Sally!! Welcome this site is great. If you want another baby go for it!!!!

__________________
Kelly Rimmer

03-24-2006 04:47 AM



sgooda2
New Member

Location:
Registered: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
Last visit: 03-24-2006

Thanks everyone
Thanks everybody for your replies.

It makes me feel good just looking at everybodies pictures. All our kids are just georgeous aren't they.

I'm feeling very positive about it now, but its nice to know there are other people in the same position. I was beginning to feel that there was just me, and I was mad to even consider it with the risks involved. Friends and family seem to be able to ignore the fact that Grace has downs and keep telling me that the odds are the everything would be fine.

I suppose its like several people have mentioned. There are no guarantees with any child, and none of us know what is around the corner for us or them.

We are taking our girls to disney in September (on the day Grace was born I promised I would take her, 12 years later we are actually going) and would like to think I had another one on the way before my 38th birthday next April. We also have to consider the fact that it is harder to concieve the older we get, so if we are lucky enough to be blessed with another child then I will accept and love it for what and who it is, after all - I'm far from perfect myself.

I wouldn't go in for any testing, if you're not prepared to terminate a pregnancy then there is no point. At least having Grace has made me realise that, life is precious, Grace is happy and healthy, so what more could I wish for ? I am lucky enough to have a happy home and a supportive husband and family.

I feel even more positive after writing this reply !

I'm posting a piccy, hope it comes out.

03-24-2006 01:38 PM



** Hannah's mom ** UK
Super Moderator

Location: West Midlands UK
Registered: Jun 2004
Posts: 3851
Last visit: 03-24-2006

love the picture Sally

do keep us updated

Where abouts do you come from?
__________________
Jo mummy to Hannah (DS ) who was 3 in July 05 and Rebecca who was 2 in Jan 06

My beautiful girls

Baby 3 due April 10th 2006

Visit

Hannah's webpage and read all about her journey

All times are ET (US)

Forum Jump:
< Last Thread Next Thread >



Forum Rules:
Who Can Read The Forum? Any registered user or guest.
Who Can Post New Topics? Any registered user.
Who Can Post Replies? Any registered user.
Changes: Messages can be edited by their author if registered.
Posts: HTML code is OFF. Smilies are ON. BB code is ON. [IMG] code is ON.

Admin Options:
Open / Close Thread
Move Thread
Delete Thread
Edit Thread